Different
by pesky.lil.critter
Summary: Some courage, a decision, a few sentences. A world of differences.
1. Love

**AN: **This revising thing is hard work. I honestly hope it pays.  
Well, it's necessary.  
Have fun!  
Love, Annabeth 3

**Love**

**Different****  
**_'No – listen, I didn't mean –'  
'- to call me Mudblood? But you call everyone of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?'  
He struggled on the verge of speech, but with a contemptuous look she turned and climbed through the portrait hole…  
_

And then, just before she was gone Severus seemed to regain full use of his voice and called after Lily, "You're different." He waited as she stopped, completely tense, obviously warring with herself.  
"How?" It almost sounded as if Lily Evans was afraid of an answer. Almost.  
Severus restrained a small sigh of relief then asked very softly, "Could you please turn around so I can say this to your face?"  
Lily was never sure if it was the fact that he'd spoken up at all or the desperate pleading as he said she was different or the fearful hope as he asked her to turn around.  
She looked at his nose because she couldn't bring herself to meet his eyes.  
"You're different" Severus took a deep breath, "because I love you."

**Lily's Reaction  
**"You what!" Lily asked, searching his face. She wasn't sure what was looking for _or_ what she wanted to find.  
She was so focused on Severus' expression that she jumped violently when the Fat Lady said behind her, "He loves you, silly girl. It's not like he's very good at hiding _that_." followed by shrill giggling. From the corner of her eye Lily could see Severus flinch at the sound. She turned her back to the Fat Lady to look at him. This time she met his eyes. "Really?" _Wow_, she thought slightly dazed, _the last time my voice trembled like this I was fighting with Tuney about my friendship with Sev. Everything somehow goes back to him.  
_The young man in question was nodding, seemingly astonished at his own admission. "I don't love you." He said as if to himself and it hurt far worse than Lily had expected. "I'm _in_ love with you." Severus would never be attractive the way Potter and Black were (in the privacy of her own mind and her diary Lily could admit that) but in that moment, so fierce and honest he was beautiful to her.  
A mental image, so vivid she nearly gasped, of a white piece of paper someone had gone over with a wet paintbrush and then dropped ink onto, creating a complex and unique patter of black lines that reminded Lily of veins. The word left her lips before she even finished thinking it. "Beautiful." And now it was Severus who looked at _her_ as if she had three heads. Lily flushed. "Sorry. I think you shut off the thinking-before-speaking function in my brain." Severus smiled tentatively.  
"I really _am_ sorry, you know?" _Funny, _Lily thought,_ that such softly spoken words can slam me back into reality with such blinding force.  
_She lifted her hand as if to touch his arm or his face and instead only brushed her hair behind her ear. "I- we should go to bed, Sev." His face fell. "I mean… we can, you know, talk. Tomorrow… that is, if you want?" She trailed off uncertainly but she could already see the hope on Severus' face.  
The agreed to meet by that lake after classes let out the next day, spent some minutes awkwardly repeating 'Goodnights' before Severus finally started to leave. Lily stared after him a long time after he was gone from sight.  
On different ends of the castle two very different people went to sleep with lighter hearts. In Gryffindor tower a girl with red hair and green eyes fell asleep thinking of what the future might hold. In the Slytherin dungeons a boy with inky black hair and eyes fell asleep thinking of all that had happened in the past.  
Up in the sitting room behind his office, the Headmaster sat in a comfortable armchair in front of the fireplace, nursing a cup of tea, and smiled. Two souls had found one another.

**Elaborate Explanation****  
**Severus was already waiting when Lily arrived outside the next day. He was leaning against a tree with an open book in his lap.  
Lily sat down beside him and he looked up, startled. "Hey, how are you?" she nudged him.  
"I'm fine. Actually, I'm better than fine. I'm _relieved_. Telling you that I'm in love with you felt like a huge weight was lifted off my chest. How are you?"  
"Fine. Just a bit confused. I mean, why should I believe you?" Lily asked looking at Severus. She took a bite of the sandwich she'd brought with her as she waited for him to answer.  
Severus looked at her in surprise for a moment then turned to stare out over the lake.  
After a few minutes of silent contemplation, just as Lily was getting impatient, he said, "Because I would keep on living for you." He shot her a glance. "_Only_ you."  
Lily wasn't sure what to feel. She was confused, flattered, angry, surprised and slightly incredulous at his answer. "Would you elaborate on that statement?"  
Severus turned to face her with a small gentle smile. "Under normal circumstances I might have said I'd die for you, which of course is still true. However, the circumstances could hardly be described as normal. In times like these dying is not very hard. Living on the other hand is one the most difficult things I've ever attempted. Let's say, for the sake of the argument that you die. I'd long to follow you and possibly attempt to drag you back and die in the process. But I'd keep living; keep fighting because you'd want me to. I think that living is one of the greatest sacrifices a person can make for someone else. Elaborate enough?" Severus raised an eyebrow all the while trying to suppress laughter at Lily's stunned expression.

**Summer Love  
**They spent the summer dancing around each other. Severus avoided going home whenever he could so he and Lily were together nearly every waking moment.  
Severus' sixteenth birthday passed by unacknowledged by the Snapes. Mrs. Evans on the other hand had a cake ready when Severus came to visit Lily on July 26th.  
It occurred to Lily one day that things between them had changed. She began to notice little things that hadn't been obvious before. Brushing away a strand of hair, a small touch to get the other's attention, a kiss on her cheek each time Severus said goodbye. Slowly, she realized she as in love with her best friend.


	2. Firsts

**Firsts**

**The Accident****  
**Their first kiss was an accident. They'd been walking side by side along an abandoned corridor, noses stuck in their respective books when Lily tripped. She grabbed Severus' arm to steady herself bringing him down with her. After much rolling around, Severus somehow ended up on top of Lily.  
"Are you alright?" he asked worriedly.  
She seemed vaguely annoyed as she answered. "Yes, yes, I'm just fine."  
Severus sighed with relief.  
Now that the shock and worry were gone he was suddenly intensely aware of their unintentionally intimate position. His gaze wandered from Lily's eyes to her lips and he leaned down and she moved up and their lips connected accidentally on purpose. Both froze, eyes wide, breaths held, hearts thudding loudly.  
Then Severus wrenched himself away, jumping to his feet. His cheeks burned bright red and he didn't meet Lily's eyes once as he helped her get up and collect her things. In his embarrassment he didn't even notice her equally shining red cheeks.  
They didn't speak until they had to part for dinner and then it was only a murmured 'Bye' and a hasty retreat to their house tables.  
The Accident wasn't spoken of for several years.

**Questions****  
**After avoiding each other for one week and another three weeks spent in awkwardness, Lily finally couldn't stand it anymore.  
She and Severus were studying in the library because it was one of the few things they did together that didn't require conversation or any other interaction and was therefore less likely to result in unbearable awkwardness. Besides, the library was one of the places in the castle James Potter and Sirius Black didn't usually visit (unless Remus Lupin made them which didn't happen often).  
That particular day was Friday before a Hogsmeade weekend.  
Lily watched Severus brood over some potions notes, all the while pretending she didn't exist. After staring intently at him for about half an hour she closed the book in front of her with a loud thump. Severus jumped and whipped his head up only to drop it again when he accidentally met Lily's eyes.  
She sighed in exasperation.  
"Will you go to Hogsmeade with me tomorrow?"  
The question surprised Severus enough to forget that he was avoiding her eyes. "We always go to Hogsmeade together, Lily. Why would you ask now?"  
Lily stifled another sigh of exasperation. "I meant; would you like to go to Hogsmeade with me _on a date_ tomorrow?" She considered the way his jaw dropped and his eyes went wide, extremely satisfying revenge for laughing at her after his declaration of love.  
After staring at her blankly for a full minute Severus snapped his jaw shut and shook his head violently. Disappointed, she gathered her things and made to leave when his voice stopped her (once again). "Sure, of course, I'd love to go on a date with you." Lily very nearly sighed again, this time with relief and grinned brightly. The surprise on Severus' face slowly morphed into an answering grin.  
Hurdle overcome.  
And then they noticed the time.

**Dear Diary  
**_This weekend was a Hogsmeade weekend and Sev and I had our very first date!  
On Saturday we both went Christmas shopping on our own though. Sev's present was really hard to find so I left him for last. I wandered around for almost an hour before I found this tiny little store beside Madam Puddyfoot's. The place was filled to the bursting with more or less useless plunder but there was a really beautiful bracelet. It is silver with two black snakes whose tails are entwined and their heads are curled around a red flower.  
Anyway, our date: we Sunday morning walking around the village and sort of window shopping. Then we had lunch in the 'Three Broomsticks'. We went back to the castle early because Sev said he had a surprise for me. I was so confused when he walked me to the Gryffindor common room but the Fat Lady opened without a password and she __winked__ at Sev. Of course, I understood the moment we got inside. The armchairs and all the sofas except for one were pushed away from the fireplace and there was a tiny table in front of the sofa. On the table was a vase with three roses, one yellow, one red and one white. Beside the vase was an extra-large box of my favourite chocolate. I nearly kissed Sev but I didn't quite dare. Still, this is officially the best day of my life.  
Lovingly,  
Lily  
_

**Telling Him  
**The first time Lily said 'I love you' was not an accident. In fact, it was planned down to the last detail. She worried about how and when and where to tell him for nearly a whole month. As it so happened, one of her dorm mates gave her the idea. Lily had decided to stay at Hogwarts that year and her parents, after they got over their initial disappointment, decided to go on a second Honeymoon somewhere warm and sunny.  
Lily and Joanne had been talking about Christmas presents when Joanne mentioned that her brother planned to propose to his girlfriend on Christmas. Apparently, the engagement ring was supposed to be the girlfriend's Christmas present. It seemed so obvious all of a sudden. Granted, Lily didn't intend to ask Severus to marry her (not yet, anyway) but she had the bracelet and she had 'I love you'.  
It wasn't difficult to persuade Severus to meet her after curfew on Christmas Eve, the difficult part was setting things up exactly the way she wanted them to be.  
She ran into the first problem with the tree. The tree was necessary since she wanted to celebrate Christmas with her boyfriend (she thrilled at the word) and that wasn't going to work without a tree. When she finally got an appropriate tree into an unused classroom and had everything decorated, she realized that she would have trouble playing the music she wanted. All her records were at home in her room and she didn't have anything to play them with anyways.  
Fortunately, Professor Dumbledore seemed to be aware of her plans and he implied that he approved as long as they weren't caught. He even lent her small device that would play romantic Christmas music when Lily tapped it with her wand. She tried very hard (and failed) not to notice the twinkle in his eyes.  
Finally, she had everything ready and perfect before the bid day arrived. From the moment she woke up that morning she kept going over everything she'd prepared, trying to find a flaw, until Sirius Black decided to drive her crazy by trying to make mistletoes follow her. For revenge, she charmed them to follow _him_ instead which had him grinning. At least until the branches began hitting him. Annoyed as she was, Lily had to admit that Sirius had managed to distract her.  
From then on everything went perfect. Lily and Severus began their evening with cookies and silliness. The mood shifted slowly and by the time they were ready to open the presents, Lily's cheeks were flushed and she was almost sure Severus' were too.  
The present he handed her was wrapped in red and green, and it felt like a box. The box turned out to be filled with photographs of her and Severus. Some of them even moved.  
Lily's vision was a bit blurred when she held out the little silver box with the bracelet. Severus took it and she said with a smile, "I love you, Severus." He threw his arms around her but before his lips could touch hers the door opened and a stern voice, filled with anger, stopped them. "Mr. Snape, Miss Evans. I thought you of all people would know not to be out of bed after curfew." It had to McGonagall that walked in on them.  
"I'm sorry, Professor. We just wanted to celebrate in private." McGonagall's glare softened a tiny little bit, but they still received detention.


	3. Changes

**Changes**

**Merry Christmas  
**„I have to apologize, Lily." Severus said on December 24 in their seventh year.  
They were lying on the couch in the Head Girl suite, watching the fire.  
Lily's eyebrows shot up and she blurted out, "For what?"  
"Fifth year. You know my father is a muggle so I was a stupid hypocrite. I was angry and humiliated at the time but that doesn't excuse calling you a Mudblood." He paused for a moment. "Calling anyone a Mudblood really."  
His right hand stroked her bare stomach where her shirt had slipped up. Suddenly he stopped. "Why are you so tense?"  
Lily forced herself to relax. "Thank you." She turned around to face Severus. "I can truly forgive you now. It hurt so much to hear my best friend call me _that_. I don't think it would have hurt much from anyone else. But I can forgive you now."  
Then she leaned forward to kiss him.  
Now they could finally celebrate Christmas properly.

_Past_**Present**Future  
Lily and Severus' relationship had steadily progressed through their sixth and seventh year; their first date in Hogsmeade at the beginning of their sixth year had only been the first of many. Their first (official) kiss had, after many interrupted almost-kisses, finally taken place under a branch of mistletoe, in front of the Great Hall. They had officially become a couple on Valentines Day.  
That day James Potter had come up to them, offered his hand and wished them luck. He hadn't asked Lily out again nor had he humiliated Severus. Any pranks that affected Severus were aimed at all of Slytherin.  
Remus Lupin had struck up a tentative friendship with Lily and Severus shortly after that while Sirius Black could only be persuaded to an openly reluctant truce by Lupin and Aletha Freeman, Sirius' girlfriend.  
Peter Pettigrew separated himself from the other three and got his own friends. Somehow, with independence came courage.

Today, on the day of the Leaving Feast, the graduation ceremony was taking place. Therefore all the seventh year students were gathered in the Great Hall, chattering with nervous excitement.  
Severus stood near the other Slytherins and silently watched as Freeman laughed at something Lily said and even Black couldn't quite suppress a smile.  
As he heard the door behind the Head Table open it occurred to him that he was wearing a rather silly smile on his face and he quickly rearranged his features into something resembling boredom. The chatter around him ceased abruptly when Dumbledore cleared his throat. The students looked toward the noise before hurriedly arranging themselves alphabetically in front of the teachers. Black was almost the farthest out to the left only his cousin Narcissa was farther out. Severus was rather close to the right end. Lupin was almost exactly in the middle and Lily and Freeman were only separated by a pair of twins.  
Dumbledore welcomed the students and congratulated them all on graduating. Then McGonagall started calling them forward and for a moment Severus felt very much like a nervous eleven year old. But as the first student reached McGonagall he tuned out in favor of thinking about the future.  
He and Lily had found a small flat in Muggle London. For the first two weeks Lily would stay with her parents to say goodbye and pack all the things she would need or want while Severus would go directly to their flat and start furnishing it.  
In autumn he and Freeman would start their Healer training and Lily would work in the Ministry of Magic though that was mostly for the benefit of the Order of the Phoenix. None of them was a member but Severus knew that most of Lily's friends would be glad to help. He'd heard Potter and Black talk about Auror training after school.  
Severus shook himself out of his thoughts as the girl beside him was called. Then it was his turn.  
He'd done well, he thought. In Potions he had, of course, received an Outstanding, in Defense an Exceeds Expectations, in both Charms and Transfigurations he'd only received Acceptable but those had never been his strong suit. In Arithmancy and Herbology he'd gotten two more Outstandings and in Care of Magical Creatures he'd scored Exceeds Expectations. As he walked back to his place in the line he sneaked a glance at Lily. She was staring at the parchment in her hands and even though Severus knew exactly how to read her, her expression betrayed nothing. Funny, she usually wore her heart on her sleeve.  
There were only two students left, a Ravenclaw and a Slytherin. And then, finally, it was over. Freedom! Everyone was cheering and people were hugging and congratulating each other. Severus watched all this somewhat numbly until Lily flew at him and he had to hold onto her lest they both fall to the floor. They kissed deeply, both smiling and Severus felt _happy_.

**31 January 1983  
**On January 31 1983 a whole group of people officially joined the Order of the Phoenix. In alphabetical order the first was Sirius Black. He'd been a full Auror since July 1980 after three years of hard training.  
Second was Lily Evans. She worked as someone's secretary in the Ministry. She was an important source of information and messenger for the Order even before she joined. She and Severus had moved into a house near Canterbury in 1980.  
The third was her best female friend Aletha Freeman-Black, married to Sirius for almost two months, and nine months pregnant with his child. She had given him the shock of his life when she told him and he'd shocked her right back by proposing. The wedding was held on the 29 November 1982 which was incidentally the day of the first snow of that winter. The baby was due any day now. Aletha had finished Healer training last July after four years of hard work.  
Next was Remus Lupin. He'd been travelling a lot, only stopping by every few months and he always brought at least one person with him. Most of them were werewolves and older than him and most of the werewolves had only been bitten a few months before he found them. With the Order's help they found work and places to live, including a safe room for their transformations. On her eighteenth Birthday Remus had brought his younger sister, Kassandra to one of the Order meetings. Apparently she had demanded he take her there. He'd arrived red-faced that day with a short young woman with frizzy brown hair and dark brown eyes clinging to his arm. No one knew what she'd done to persuade him to bring her with him.  
The youngest new member was Peter Pettigrew. He didn't work really, at least not since he'd realized that the weird blackouts/daydreams were actually visions. As a result he'd been living at headquarters for almost five years. He did a lot of research on anything the Order needed. And he walked around beet red and dazed every time Kassandra smiled at him.  
James Potter had finished Auror training together with Sirius and he'd moved out from his parents' a year after Hogwarts. Somehow he was the only one in their little group without even a potential partner. He'd never really moved on from Lily and he'd gotten more serious over the years. Even Remus dated every now and then. James still made them all laugh and he still played the occasional prank on people but he made sure never to hurt or humiliate anyone.  
The last and by far the most reluctant of them was Severus Snape. He'd finished his Healer training along with Aletha last July. On Christmas Eve he'd proposed to Lily during dinner with her parents and sister. Apparently Petunia fainted from shock and Mrs Evans cried of joy. Mr Evans only commented that it was long overdue.

On the 31 January 1983 a whole group of people joined the Order of the Phoenix. They were all interconnected by the bonds of friendship and love. Lily and Severus, Aletha and Sirius, and Peter and Kassandra all loved each other. Lily and Aletha, and Sirius and James were best friends. Severus was often seen with either Peter or Remus. Aletha and Sirius' child was loved by everyone even if Severus did his best not to show it.  
A whole group of people who would die for each other if necessary. At least one of them would pay that price before peace could be achieved. One of them would die.

**The End**

(for now)


	4. Teaser

**AN:** If you have not read the sequel (Different Too) then I suggest you do that.

**

* * *

**

Teaser

Something crashed against the door and Lily tightened her arms around Evan. James threw a glance at her before his eyes went back to the door.

The next crash was accompanied by shuddering and groaning of the wooden door and frame. Lily huddled in a corner, curled protectively around her sleeping son. She cursed herself for leaving her wand when she went to take Evan for a walk that morning. Then she wished fervently Severus was here with her.

'_No use wishing.' _She thought, watching James chant complicated spells to keep the door intact.

He winced a bit when the next crash sounded. Then, with a last pained look at the cracks in the wood, he turned from the door and came over to pull Lily on her feet.

He led her to the corner behind the door saying, "Stay there and be quiet until it's safe to run. And for Merlin's sake, don't stop for anything." He stared at her until she nodded, feeling numb. "I love you, Lily. Never forget that." James seemed to want to say more, but then he shook his head, closed his eyes and kissed her intently for a moment.

He hurried toward to other side of the room, wand gripped tightly in his left hand.

A moment later the door crashed open, narrowly missing Lily and Evan.

A tall man with dark hair and red eyes strode in, wand lifted, robes billowing. Lily supposed she might have called him attractive if she didn't know he was Lord Voldemort himself.

Following James' instructions she inched out from behind the door as the two men began to duel. But before she could run Voldemort paused in attacking James to bind Lily to the wall with thick tight ropes.

Evan started to squirm and whimper against her chest.

James, seeing her, distracted Voldemort by keeping him under constant attack while he made his way over to Lily.

She saw the red eyes narrow and shouted, whether in warning or in fear she couldn't say, and then a bolt of green light shot from Voldemort's wand.

The ropes kept her from shielding Evan even is she'd had the time.

The Killing Curse struck and the world stopped.

* * *

**AN:** Well, this is a glimpse into the events of part three...and a bit of encouragement to vote in the poll on my profile concerning this story. It's quite necessary to the editing process of Different Too, and as a result for my continuing in part three.


End file.
